Dr. Greg House, MD

Two Lifetime channel curses in one month. I thought only two of the deities were women. If I'm not mistaken there is a significantly large amount of estrogen running this place. I'd recommend hormone therapy. But not PEMU, gotta save them horses. Is Little Orphan Annie out of the closet? The literal closet, not the metaphorical. A runaway secret lesbian is pushing the scenario way too much. Crossing over into cinemaxxx territory.

If Cuddy wanted a kid she could have just popped over to this place and waited.

I'm having a hard time believing that none of you get ill. Or shot. Or have a case of anemia. You're all a bunch of penny pinching liars who would die from stubbornness if you could die here.

Oh you have got to be kidding me. Really? Really. I can't get over this. Extension of the soul. Fine. Whatever. Is there symbolism? Does this mean I'm going do die of bloating and gastric problems too?

I think we both know what it will be if anything. I know it hurts Gregory but four? You had two less than three hours ago.

Ha. Ha. You're a comedian. Got any more, Droopy?

I can run on three legs. And yourself, Gregory?

...Good dog.

Good dog....?

Good dog, Irene.

Mirrors give you a reflected image. Shocking news, I hope you were sitting when you read that.

Why can't we see this Mirror City? Where is the mirror? Looks like all the good questions are going to go unanswered. The Lewis Carrol mirror world hopping has scientifically inaccurate for several reasons. First being that it should in all rights be impossible.  Let's suspend that belief because we have to. Thanks, Deities. This is another candle on your alter of Lacks Sense.

What does not makes even less sense is the nature of what has been skewed especially if it is supposed to be mirrored.

A few examples:

Originally       New State of Being     Specification
FBI Agent -> Evil Sexy FBI Agent= Personality Reversal [Morals] you can't SEE morals.
Lady Knight-> Sexy Vampire= State of Being + Moral Alteration  worst of both worlds
Boy Wizard-> Evil Boy Wizard=Personality Reversal [Morals + Values] change that can't be seen, the effects of course can.
Plush Lion-> Gay Plush Lion=Personality Reveral [Sexual Preference] You can't see gender preference.
Fairy Princess= Fairy Princess= Personality Reversal [Loose Morals] Giselle, you can't be evil. That's just the truth of it.
Male Escort-> Misogynist= Personality Reversal [Gained Common Sense] Nothing wrong here, actually.

Results vary on a case to case basis. Most changes being internal, possibly neurological. While things are "reflected" that doesn't make them the very same subject from the beginning. Doctor and dentist should not be interchangeable. Who the hell writes these things?

OCD. Are you kidding? Low brow AND annoying in one day. Just when you might need a human relations department to do something, there isn't one to be found. What next Tourett's day?

Let me offer up some discount, quick fix prescriptions to curb your symptoms: paroxentine, seratraline, fluvoxamine, olanazapine or a small dosage of risperidone. Take one. They're anti-psychotic, not anti-curse. Take them. For the love of God. Looking at the network is making me think that this is a Bukowski reading.

Emmett you better not be cursed.

Hey! Hey! Just where do you think you're going? I heard you clip-clip clopping across the bridge. This bridge is mine. If you want to cross it, you'll have to give me something. Those meadows over there? Yeah, on the other side? Can't be something you just get to easily.

Pay up. No pay, no way.

In fact, you look rather healthy. No mites or ticks. May as well eat you anyway, waste of space. Can't even bargain right.

[ooc; Action to whoever wants. I have work. This will likely be backlogged. D:]

Do you know how much a bag of conversation hearts cost? Not even a bag, a box. A simple box where I'm from is less than a dollar. What does a dollar say? Cheap. Try getting into someone's pants with these puppies and you're looking into a cold, lonely Valentine's Day. Chocolate is what the women want. Not Milky Way--though you get your point across right there--run of the mill store crap.

Consider the amount of starch you're consuming. Blegh. There's a reason why those suckers and candy corn are more accessible only once a year.

The secret added raises the value. You can't converse with them. I'm sure plenty will spark.  So, tell me LOVE what's the news.

[ooc; Guess who doesn't realize there's a lil seekrit of his floating around?]

It all started trying to prove something to him. That turned out to be impossible. Until I started to prove him wrong.

And then I knew that I could do it to anyone.

[ooc; Go ahead and ask. He may be evasive. Way to go, Greg. Note to Pixie-stick~ AIM express isn't woooorking D: D:]

Friction causes fire. Witches use fire! Friction is evil! Goodness! You know, let's start killing the people who can whistle or snap their fingers.  Fornication uses friction too. 

Here's an idea. Let's get all the witches together and make them follow a separate code of conduct. To identify them, sew some yellow stars on every item of their clothing. And then let's put em into a controlled neighborhood and---Ah, now that I have your attention:

Christ people, the very staple of this place is based on bippity boppity boo. Remember? Your mother probably sniffed pixie dust and that's how half of you came into being. Stop harassing the other morons. Magic is DUMB and an EASY WAY OUT. Fine, I agree but don't be the Gestapo about it. I hate everyone who can run. Can I set them on fire? I will. Don't tempt me.

You all are wonderfully showing how impressionable and controllable you are. A bit of the right magic influence from the City itself and look at what you do. Really now, this curse is unimaginative and based on sensationalism. The original Salem trials ended up hanging only nineteen. Ten more were convicted. Oh, but I suppose the dieties are going all out so this has to be a European witch hunt.