Dr. Greg House, MD

video;

[Blip! On goes the network device. Have an unflattering up angle at the bristly chin of House.]

Let's be real. It's on your calender. And for at least eleven months out of the year you don't think about how warm and fuzzy you are, how far you'll travel or even the prayer you're going to say. People say Thanksgiving and you think about [the network device is now hovering before a plate that's pretty much a small buffet] this.

[Closer! Over the mountain of mashed potatoes and it's lava flow of gravy. He even turns the plate on the counter top. There are voices coming from another room indistinct, so yeah he is taking time to pull away and do this.]

Do you see this? Four days. Four days of this. No regrets.

[Behold the glory of green bean casserole. Beside it of course stuffing. Turkey slices, light and dark. Oops. Too close the screen fogs over. House flips it back around to rub it off on his t-shirt.]

People pay extra for a channel of this. Hours and hours. You get this for free. You're welcome.

[One last look then back to that wrinkled face.]

As I was saying... Thanksgiving should be renamed. That's not how people spend it. It's not how they remember it. Just a day for thankfulness? [Scrunched up thoughtful face as if he's listening for a response. Wait. Is that a veiled positive sentiment? The moment has passed!] Whatever. Day of gluttony. I'm not sorry.

Can I get a quick poll? How many people here actually watch scary movies? ....how many of you went into one of those houses?

I have a sneaking suspicion--or maybe I should say creeping suspicion-- that people that have not actually went through with it. People that have seen horror movies and waltzed on in, well, that is not only a display of a lack of common sense but disregard for self preservation. Maybe even a death wish.

How close am I?

video;

[Hey network. Here is Dr. House at his desk in his office. He's looking scruffy as ever. Maybe a bit more haggered now that we really look at him.]

Black and white. Blah blah blah. I want to know exactly what is wrong with this picture.

[He holds a small white bottle the portion of it that isn't covere by his fingers shows labels for the City General Hospital prescription for House, Gregory. With an unnecessary flourish he opens the bottle then tips it upside down. Out tumbles one white pill. Just one.]

Now I know why fire hose kept popping up on my shopping list. This time you're all lucky. This time.

Why bother? I'll wager to say we all hate you. Unless you're into that.

Holidays are crap. You want to know why? Because they inflate you with unrealistic expectations of what a day should be. I expected to be in a turkey induced stupor, not moving more than necessary to complete my Jabba the Hutt impression. Instead, I'm eating not as heartily, walking just as infrequently and doubling my dosage because I was without vicodin for longer than necessary the day before Thanksgiving. That is what sucks. That is what makes this month crap. Screw your train. You were either alive or dead. When you're dead what do you have to worry about from there? You get back up anyways.

I'm thankful for my vicodin today. Tomorrow it better be the same. While I'm at it, I'm thankful for a newly developed case of some kind. That means my life hasn't completely descended into meaninglessness. When I'm more into celebrating, there'll be pie.

Filtered to Dr. Chase, Dr. Cameron, and Dr. Wilson Because He Feels Like It;
The midget as inconveniently disappeared again when we have an ample opportunity to utilize her particular talents. Great. Just when I was in the cheating to win mood.

What are we working with then? I trust that Plan A has been put into effect. I'm going to spare a guess that it's in the process of failing. Did we ever get a Plan B behind the second door? If not we'll have to play pin the tail on the treatment. Oh boy.

I owe a few things. With no small amount of difficulty I'll get to it. You know who you are. And since it isn't lucky and since I already have a leg disadvantage there won't be any breaking.

Filtered to Dr. R. Chase; Unhackable
Sorry I didn't believe you were gay.
end;

Filtered to Dr. J. Wilson; Unhackable
We should do drinks again.
end;

Filtered to You Know Who; Unhackable
Thanks.
end;

Filtered to Dr. A. Cameron; Unhackable
I was writing to everyone else. I figured if you found out, you'd get jealous. Maybe even feel like I was ignoring you. Don't worry. This means that I know that you won't get possessed for long.
end;

To hell with it. No doom so far. And if it happens, I know who to blame. Or if reason has any weight in this ridiculousness, since this is a later challenge there could be time to prepare, call in bribes. Whatever means necessary.

Growth hold obvious relevance in the medical world. From the time we are born to the age of two our craniums are measured regularly to check growth progress. Abnormal numbers above or below the norm could be a sign of one or more of the following:

• Chronic disease
• Emotional (psychosocial) health
• Genetics
• Infection
• Poor nutrition

Life is still in the equation. Big or small headed people alike can tell you that. Look around you. With the aid of hormones and with a possibility of a close to normal life outside of the circus or the next Austin Powers movie. Dramatic differences on the other hand leave the door open for other issue possibilities gastrointestinal problems that prompt a slow or stunted growth due to digestive enzymes, cerebral palsy to throw out a few rockstars of the category. And all of this is possible within the first leg of life. Makes you wonder by what miracle or luck of the draw this many people pass through the first round of the real Real World.

And we continually grow. We get older, our capacity for learning becomes more complicated with critical thinking, memorization, and any kind of social upbringing. These are all dependent on were we go from the start. Genes get blamed, it's the genetics passed down from our parents and their parents. Health is more than possible in early life. Then comes that oh so sudden decline of aging, ready willing and able to put it's hand into the grab bag of genetic issues that your Grandma's cousin first removed had.

Growth usually has such a positive connotation. You grow ill. You grow weary. Growth can also mean progression. Tumors for one thing. Flesh eating viruses grow.  Or Joseph Merrick experienced growth and then some. Who said it was a happy subject?

There.

Give me my prize.

[IMG. uploaded to network: It's a note written on yellow, lined paper. This piece of paper has been taped to a door. The only part of the door that's legible (That damn note is in the way!) is ous, MD. Who could that ever be?

The note reads: "To Whom It May Concern: You've come this far and need help. Think carefully, because you're perfectly capable of doing so on your own. 1) Have you used every option possible? 2) Are you sure? I would never think to call you a liar. I would love to drop everything I'm doing to help you. And migraines make you more delightful. If 1) and 2) have been covered and you still have a problem. Please knock."]

I wouldn't be who I am without looking a gift horse in the mouth. Either someone has paid all women some amount of money to appear attracted or mildly interested or there is a curse going on. Or an out break.

In the event of the first, C-cups and up only.

[ooc; you know you want to.]

Wilson, I did some laundry. Some of your things weren't salvageable. I replaced them. Don't worry.

I've got an A. I passed. See? You should have just studied. Nothing to it. Of course it really means something negative, it's a curse. The joke is on the deities because that's also the Fonz's favorite letter.

Inara. You're a live still, right?

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Twice now she's stopped by to come and see me. She knows me. I don't know who the hell she is. And every time she was around, I didn't feel right. Now I've got to go back and properly document. It has to mean something. And she knew about Wilson. So, seeing Terminator and Back to the Future enough, she's from the future. A future. The physical effect could be from the created paradox. Not that I know what that feels like.

It's worth documenting.

No jaundice. No Cuddy. It should all be good news.

[ooc; Tags will be picked up later. ...House didn't actually do laundry. He just wanted the network to see ugly, embarrassing things in Wilson's possession. Mild revenge for age curse terrorizing.]