Dr. Greg House, MD

New year resolutions are, and always have been, seasonal crock. You want to improve yourself? Do it. Announcing, making a big deal about it   outside of being cursed is a cry for attention and approval. Self improvement begins and ends with self. When you're supposed to go it alone why enlist others? And for those people who hear the resolution and attempt to rally their ponies too much, well, that's what you call enabling. There are meetings for that.

In addition to being an attention whore's paradise, new year resolutions are a trend. Why are you doing something for yourself that you know should be done when everyone else is up on it? People need reasons. Taking action for self preservation is too selfish to be a reason alone if you want to lose weight, stop smoking or try to be more attractive for today's standards. Is anyone else recognizing the pattern here? All of these attempts at getting approval and seeking approval and for what? What really is accomplished? You make a big belly aching deal about how you're going to do something, get lazy three months in and then everyone knows about your failure.

OCD. Are you kidding? Low brow AND annoying in one day. Just when you might need a human relations department to do something, there isn't one to be found. What next Tourett's day?

Let me offer up some discount, quick fix prescriptions to curb your symptoms: paroxentine, seratraline, fluvoxamine, olanazapine or a small dosage of risperidone. Take one. They're anti-psychotic, not anti-curse. Take them. For the love of God. Looking at the network is making me think that this is a Bukowski reading.

Emmett you better not be cursed.