Dr. Greg House, MD

Day of the Dead XI now playing in your closest window. Emmett, do we have any popcorn?

For those of us who are insane and not sexually active and need to venture out onset, bring a flame thrower or hockey stick.  Make it a flame thrower. It's better to watch and more sanitary.

Speaking of sanitary, wash your hands and turn your head when you cough, especially around this guy. If you've been just the gosh-golly do-gooders Allison Cameron that you all pride yourself on being and gave him a big bear hug of a hello--congratulations, you're infected. Come see me, just not now. Zombie bite and possible malignant scarlet fever...badass combo. ...I wonder if that would be treatable.

EDIT: Julia. I have your medication. See me after the show.

OCD. Are you kidding? Low brow AND annoying in one day. Just when you might need a human relations department to do something, there isn't one to be found. What next Tourett's day?

Let me offer up some discount, quick fix prescriptions to curb your symptoms: paroxentine, seratraline, fluvoxamine, olanazapine or a small dosage of risperidone. Take one. They're anti-psychotic, not anti-curse. Take them. For the love of God. Looking at the network is making me think that this is a Bukowski reading.

Emmett you better not be cursed.

Look, Dad! I'm in a war! And to think that I would have been spending this time in an enclosure with Emmett. This is the most work I've had since coming to this place. Princeton Plainsborough should go to war.

I'd recommend stretching before all of those harrowing acts of valor, people.The Stewards have yet to show signs of fatigue. I've treated at least two sprains. Come on? You want a war wound? Get one, a sprain? How embarressing. You tell your kids 'I was in a war' and they'll ask with their little eyes aglow for the moment they're away from that gamestation and you won't have anything to show for it. Because it was a sprain. I recommend something that you can get stitches for.

A case of the giggles in the alien ranks... Ew. Someone can use a chemistry set.