Dr. Greg House, MD

Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.

That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what  he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.

Bidding starts at one Orange.

Wilson, I did some laundry. Some of your things weren't salvageable. I replaced them. Don't worry.

I've got an A. I passed. See? You should have just studied. Nothing to it. Of course it really means something negative, it's a curse. The joke is on the deities because that's also the Fonz's favorite letter.

Inara. You're a live still, right?

private//unhackable;
Twice now she's stopped by to come and see me. She knows me. I don't know who the hell she is. And every time she was around, I didn't feel right. Now I've got to go back and properly document. It has to mean something. And she knew about Wilson. So, seeing Terminator and Back to the Future enough, she's from the future. A future. The physical effect could be from the created paradox. Not that I know what that feels like.

It's worth documenting.

No jaundice. No Cuddy. It should all be good news.

[ooc; Tags will be picked up later. ...House didn't actually do laundry. He just wanted the network to see ugly, embarrassing things in Wilson's possession. Mild revenge for age curse terrorizing.]

I don't think I've laughed this hard at society this much before in a long time. Great job, everybody. Wilson. Cameron. Everybody take a bow. You deserve it.

Expected ration of asshole aside, let me pose a philosophical question to those who like to verbally wrestle anyway. Do you know anymore now than you did back then?

Are we all sick still. Maybe not the whining has dropped about two or three percent.

[Siiiiiiigh.]

So. I'm waiting for a taxi. Because now everyone is taking them. What about people in real need. Like me.

Wait a second.

[Limping footsteps.]

Hey! Michael Clayton was a horrible movie!

[Quiet.]

Hello? Yeah, I'm talking to you. Are you deaf  as well as English? Seriously, you look especially bad in person, Ti---

[Loud dropping noise, the line cuts out. Transmission ended. Oh, hey. That's a House statue kinda close to the hospital. Fancy that.]

I'd Tap That
Anya (every kid's dream)
Anita Blake (with or without the cuffs, I'm flexible)
Faye Valentine (booty shorts. Do I need to say more?)
Dr. Martha Jones (we got a thing, goin on.)
Rose Tyler (cute, there's sexy in there somewhere)
Giselle (it'd be so wrong but so right.)
Abby Sciutto (there's dirty, kink I know it)


People I Wish Awful, Terrible Misfortunes On (Something Like this Curse Only Worse)
FCC
Justin Timberlake
Tritter
Foreman
Whoever Thought It Was a Good Idea to Let Britney Spears Do What She Wants
Chase
Dad

I am not a nurse.I'd like to cancel the request for a bone saw or medical drill. The sleeping beauty has risen. Any and all bedsores obtained are not my responsibility.

Giselle, how goes the reading list? If it is too hard I have a little book called Hop on Pop. It isn't Oh the Places You'll Go or The Cat and the Hat I think those might be too advance for you if the words are too big right now.

Here's some very special reading material, Lyra. On second thought, not just Ms. Silvertongue. I think it would be important for some folks to have a recap. Especially with all that spring being sprung soon. Everyone have a read. You'll learn something.

Explosions aren't that scary unless you are in one. If you're in one, you aren't scared for long because then you are blown to bits or in excruciating pain fear doesn't matter. I've seen Die Hard. Independence Day. I can turn on a TV. Here though, I doubt we'll see footage of what happened with a bunch of talking heads. There are a lot of explosions in this stupid place.

They're annoying and loud around here, not scary.

What is, instead, is the lack of a party assuming responsibility. There is no al Qaeda, no Hezbollah. Even our home grown bad guys are quiet. The least you could do is lie and say you did it, someone wants our attention. Our "government" has been dismantled. You all are the quietest bunch of sheep ever.