Dr. Greg House, MD

Because we don't have extra room on the hospital admission forms, I will say this publicly:

If you have been bit by a werewolf, vampire, mutant spider, zombie or something infectious, contagious or otherwise pretty vital to your own damn diagnosis please be sure to let people know.

And no more lupine lupus jokes. They're not funny.

 Are people still trying to get on out of here? I would have thought that the dinosaurs were enough.

I have an idea, lets play morbid danger bingo. Who is in? By in I mean participating so someone can start making cards. Though I think BINGO is too short of a word. How about APOCALYPSE?

MORBID DANGER BINGO APOCALYPSE
burn: 1st degree, 2nd degree, 3rd degree
bruise
drowned
cut
stabbed
head trauma
disembodiment
infection
requiring stitches
gunshot wound
invasive surgery
amputation

See any one of these and let someone know.

New year resolutions are, and always have been, seasonal crock. You want to improve yourself? Do it. Announcing, making a big deal about it   outside of being cursed is a cry for attention and approval. Self improvement begins and ends with self. When you're supposed to go it alone why enlist others? And for those people who hear the resolution and attempt to rally their ponies too much, well, that's what you call enabling. There are meetings for that.

In addition to being an attention whore's paradise, new year resolutions are a trend. Why are you doing something for yourself that you know should be done when everyone else is up on it? People need reasons. Taking action for self preservation is too selfish to be a reason alone if you want to lose weight, stop smoking or try to be more attractive for today's standards. Is anyone else recognizing the pattern here? All of these attempts at getting approval and seeking approval and for what? What really is accomplished? You make a big belly aching deal about how you're going to do something, get lazy three months in and then everyone knows about your failure.

Eden, I had no idea how treacherous your life is. Now that I do, I think I'm going to get you lifts for Christmas. There, that one was easy.

I know not everyone spent the majority of their day on a desktop or licking Vicodin--for lack of a tool and trust worthy help to crumble it a person will do what they must. Any tiny man complex jokes will be dealt with accordingly.

I feel compelled to ask the masses how their trip went. A lot less Jefferson Airplane than I take it. We'll talk about that. Not other stuff like how many curses there have been. Who wants to hear about that? The concentration of curses has lead people to believe that something big and or bad is going to happen. No one wants to hear a chaos theory this time of year because we going to compare trees in an absolutely Freudian free way.

Does anyone have a cold? Does anyone want a cold?

Video//Filtered from Chase//Unhackable

[A whiteboard standing upright and mounted on what appears to be a sink. There's white and pale, pale blue tiles beyond the metal frame of the whiteboard. The camera jerks and then shows a jerk, House. Behind him is a bathroom stall.]

Now we're where a man can get some privacy.

[He turns the camera quickly back to the whiteboard.]

We need to get to the bottom of this. Why? Because it's suspicious. So soon after an influx of people it is possible that there was a transferred disease or virus left behind. Our subject is Dr. Robert Chase. Something is wrong. What exactly? That's yet to be determined.

[While he's talking, House is writing the word SYMPTOMS. Below that he writes no shame, homosexual tendencies?, zero tact. He stops and looks over his shoulder.]

Feel free to chime in at anytime.

[Oh wait. With an overly dramatic sigh, House caps the dry erase pen.]

Any trait out of the ordinary could be a symptom. Anything. That's why we're listing them. So far it looks neurological. If that's the case, did he hit is head? Did he take anything? More witnesses [muttered] more liability... The easier it will be to figure this out quickly.

[There. That should be clear enough. He uncaps the pen again.]

All of this is confidential. Unless you want him to get more sick and die.

To hell with it. No doom so far. And if it happens, I know who to blame. Or if reason has any weight in this ridiculousness, since this is a later challenge there could be time to prepare, call in bribes. Whatever means necessary.

Growth hold obvious relevance in the medical world. From the time we are born to the age of two our craniums are measured regularly to check growth progress. Abnormal numbers above or below the norm could be a sign of one or more of the following:

• Chronic disease
• Emotional (psychosocial) health
• Genetics
• Infection
• Poor nutrition

Life is still in the equation. Big or small headed people alike can tell you that. Look around you. With the aid of hormones and with a possibility of a close to normal life outside of the circus or the next Austin Powers movie. Dramatic differences on the other hand leave the door open for other issue possibilities gastrointestinal problems that prompt a slow or stunted growth due to digestive enzymes, cerebral palsy to throw out a few rockstars of the category. And all of this is possible within the first leg of life. Makes you wonder by what miracle or luck of the draw this many people pass through the first round of the real Real World.

And we continually grow. We get older, our capacity for learning becomes more complicated with critical thinking, memorization, and any kind of social upbringing. These are all dependent on were we go from the start. Genes get blamed, it's the genetics passed down from our parents and their parents. Health is more than possible in early life. Then comes that oh so sudden decline of aging, ready willing and able to put it's hand into the grab bag of genetic issues that your Grandma's cousin first removed had.

Growth usually has such a positive connotation. You grow ill. You grow weary. Growth can also mean progression. Tumors for one thing. Flesh eating viruses grow.  Or Joseph Merrick experienced growth and then some. Who said it was a happy subject?

There.

Give me my prize.

[IMG. uploaded to network: It's a note written on yellow, lined paper. This piece of paper has been taped to a door. The only part of the door that's legible (That damn note is in the way!) is ous, MD. Who could that ever be?

The note reads: "To Whom It May Concern: You've come this far and need help. Think carefully, because you're perfectly capable of doing so on your own. 1) Have you used every option possible? 2) Are you sure? I would never think to call you a liar. I would love to drop everything I'm doing to help you. And migraines make you more delightful. If 1) and 2) have been covered and you still have a problem. Please knock."]

Do people really need a curse to say what they hate? Or WHO they hate? Don't tell me yes. Everyone hates. Everyone lies. Everyone lies about what they hate when they hate it because they hate to hurt people's feelings. What if they cry? Oh no! Dish it. Take it. Own it.

I don't need any curse to say that I hate it when I have a craving for a hamburger on nacho day.

Private to Inarra//Unhackable;
In the mean time, because I'm incapable of speaking to Santa Claus, Inarra Serra you and your space case cancer need to amuse me.
end;

Medical Clinic Filter//Unhackable;
I hate a blank white board. And no, this isn't an offer to play hangman.

Private to Wilson; Unhackable;
I need something to do.

Good? Nice? This year I've been a saint.

I haven't fired anyone. I haven't been caught breaking and entering. I've made leaps and bounds educating the young. My amnesty actions with the Irish are on Peace Prize grounds. Let's not forget my impact on the Hispanic community: gracias, Caspian.

But enough about me. I'm curious to see what I'm getting out of it.

So I can't run. I can hide though. Especially from that nurse at the hospital.

[ooc; This whole post is backdated to earlier today.)