099 Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.

That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what  he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.

Bidding starts at one Orange.

Comments

voice[

[overreached.livejournal.com]

[deadpan reiteration hello]

House trained.

voice[

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

No big accidents in a long, long time.

voice[

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

[SIGH]

Does Chase like jailbait?

[deadly_legacy]

[The compulsion is so very strong.] One orange!

What is your friend's name?

OH SHI-

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Dr. Robert Chase AKA Robbie, Robbunny, Rob-bot, Chase, Thrill of the Chase...for just a few.

One Orange.

[adamantined]

There's no way you saying 'house trained' is just a coincidence here.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

No current accidents to speak of.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Well behaved boy, yessir.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Dashing. Intelligent. Not crotchety and old. Speaking of which, has anyone bid on you, Dr. House?

One orange, one yellow for the man you're offering.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

It's the nose that belies intelligence. He's Australian and as you can see it's still the original.

I'm not for sale. I know who owns me.

Top bidder as of now. Unless you want to up the score.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Um. You're not...bidding on both of us for the same date?

[fatespoken]

Do I necessarily have to use him for a date? Could I purchase him to clean my bathroom instead?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Do you want it cleaned with your toothbrush?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

For a fee, he's all yours. Whatever means you see fit.

1/3

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

...When did you take that picture?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Attainable? That's flattering. You know, you don't actually own--

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

One orange?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

You're selling Dr. Chase?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Modest thing that he is he doesn't do it himself.

[thenormalsquint]

You shoot real low, don't you.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Apparently.

[dr_conscience]

I didn't realize you held the title to Chase.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I don't understand why this isn't you.

1/1

[eiremagic]

DOUBLE PUNCH

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

Two blue.

DOUBLE PUNCH

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Sorry, that boat sailed.

audio. also, keywords.

[aregulargirl.livejournal.com]

I didn't know doctors had portfolios.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Some do. I didn't know I was in one.

[as_damaged]

[Just... seething, okay.]

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

[Chase will hold him if she punches him]

voice | private

[tothelibrary.livejournal.com]

Is two indigos higher than your highest bid so far?

voice | private

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Nope. Warmer. Or higher. Whichever they're the same level of mildly sexual.