Dr. Greg House, MD (
vicodincrutch) wrote2011-11-25 08:27 pm
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129 Diagnosis
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[Blip! On goes the network device. Have an unflattering up angle at the bristly chin of House.]
Let's be real. It's on your calender. And for at least eleven months out of the year you don't think about how warm and fuzzy you are, how far you'll travel or even the prayer you're going to say. People say Thanksgiving and you think about [the network device is now hovering before a plate that's pretty much a small buffet] this.
[Closer! Over the mountain of mashed potatoes and it's lava flow of gravy. He even turns the plate on the counter top. There are voices coming from another room indistinct, so yeah he is taking time to pull away and do this.]
Do you see this? Four days. Four days of this. No regrets.
[Behold the glory of green bean casserole. Beside it of course stuffing. Turkey slices, light and dark. Oops. Too close the screen fogs over. House flips it back around to rub it off on his t-shirt.]
People pay extra for a channel of this. Hours and hours. You get this for free. You're welcome.
[One last look then back to that wrinkled face.]
As I was saying... Thanksgiving should be renamed. That's not how people spend it. It's not how they remember it. Just a day for thankfulness? [Scrunched up thoughtful face as if he's listening for a response. Wait. Is that a veiled positive sentiment? The moment has passed!] Whatever. Day of gluttony. I'm not sorry.
[Blip! On goes the network device. Have an unflattering up angle at the bristly chin of House.]
Let's be real. It's on your calender. And for at least eleven months out of the year you don't think about how warm and fuzzy you are, how far you'll travel or even the prayer you're going to say. People say Thanksgiving and you think about [the network device is now hovering before a plate that's pretty much a small buffet] this.
[Closer! Over the mountain of mashed potatoes and it's lava flow of gravy. He even turns the plate on the counter top. There are voices coming from another room indistinct, so yeah he is taking time to pull away and do this.]
Do you see this? Four days. Four days of this. No regrets.
[Behold the glory of green bean casserole. Beside it of course stuffing. Turkey slices, light and dark. Oops. Too close the screen fogs over. House flips it back around to rub it off on his t-shirt.]
People pay extra for a channel of this. Hours and hours. You get this for free. You're welcome.
[One last look then back to that wrinkled face.]
As I was saying... Thanksgiving should be renamed. That's not how people spend it. It's not how they remember it. Just a day for thankfulness? [Scrunched up thoughtful face as if he's listening for a response. Wait. Is that a veiled positive sentiment? The moment has passed!] Whatever. Day of gluttony. I'm not sorry.
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I'm sorry, what was that you said there? "Just a day?"
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[To the fridge to pour a glass of milk to compliment the dish.]
But I guess that was in the mix. Was it the phrase of the day? You're supposed to scream real loud.
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[Maybe he's starting to smirk a little.]
But that made it sound almost as if you were defending the meaning behind Thanksgiving.
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[He uses his fork like a magic wand to make a flourish over the plate he's holding.]
It's eating. People need to fess up.
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And, of course, you're not criticizing the fact that eating is essentially the meaning for most people.
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I'm criticizing the fact that people pretend that it isn't about food at all. Food is fullness, health. Food. Good.
[Complete with a grunt. Gulp, gulp of his milk and now he's putting it back. On the door. All the love in the world, good doctor.]
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[He gives a frown, equal parts annoyed and amused, and goes to the refrigerator, picks up the milk and puts it on the shelf without saying anything about it. Now that he's in the kitchen properly, though, he might as well grab more leftovers himself.]
I don't think anyone would ever try tell you that it isn't about food at all. But there are those who do still find meaning in the basic concept of gratitude, and who happen to enjoy the company as much as the food.
[And with a conceding tilt of his head and a glance over his shoulder.]
I'll give you that they're not likely to be the same people who concocted the turducken, but...
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[Sorry Cameron.]
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I feel fortunate that this Holiday does not exist in my Country. We have something similar but Americans have a way of... celebrating in such an interesting way.
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Sweets. Dear God. It's worth bonding over. If House can bond with people. The jury is out on that.]
Overeating and explosives are our typical holiday staples. [Said with pride.]
Oh and stampeding one another for electronics. I forgot about that. Shoot.
I can tell you and I are going to be friends.
One at a time or both at the same time? []
Stampeding for electronics? The time I am from things are not half as advanced so you'll have to forgive me if I do not entirely understand.
8D
Usually it's one or the other. Our Independence Day has both. Stick around. It's really something.
[Excuse him as he munches in the most disgusting, American way.]
Imagine a telescope that everyone wants that's marked down to a flea market price except there are only a half a dozen but the crowd doesn't know it. Have that picture? Now place it in an suburban neighborhood where suddenly it's blood sport.
[He forgives surprisingly and in fact he would like someone else to share the absurd, condescending pleasure.]
/o/
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You will have to forgive me but... some of your terms are foreign to me. I am from the late eighteenth century and these... 'flea markets' and 'suburban neighborhoods' do not exist in England.
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Cheap, open air market. And typical, domestic housing for middle class.
[Maybe it's true what they say about the English and not having any sense of humor at all. He'll just chew on that spitefully along with his next fork full.]
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oh you house oh you
Re: oh you house oh you
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But I'm hardly indicative of the general populace.
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