vicodincrutch | 090. Diagnosis

This month I lost my personal space rendered a captive to a curse stuck with the most hyper social doctor from Down Under. I'm able to talk about it right now because I'm so well adjusted. This experience reminds me that Valentine's Day is coming up. I think you all remember now too thanks to that last curse. So in preparation for that blessed day, I've prepared some literature.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Coffee That Time Was Nice Now Get Away From Me:
How to Discourage Stalking
by
Dr. G. House, MD

Assess the Situation. Yes, it isn't all about the other guy (or girl). If you feel like you can't get away from that looming figure that makes your gag reflex go pro, that's a dead giveaway. Denial only makes it worse. The sooner you realize that you are being stalked, the better or else you won't move beyond this step.

Draw the Line. Say no. Say no to everything. No, you don't want what they have to give you. No, you don't want to talk. No, they cannot have a lock of your hair or that trash you're going to throw away. I guess only this happens if you have a brave stalker. If you see them or have contact tell them once, and only once, that you do not want their attention. Swearing, while therapeutic (studies have shown swearing heightens the body's tolerance to pain) will make your stalker's heart pitter-pat because of the attention.

Tell the Neighbors. Or everyone you have contact with on a day to day basis. They'll be extra eyes and ears...or fists to help the situation. The Stalker will then see that you've got a network, and the more people that know the harder it is to be covert. If you're stalker is a ninja then this will only be harder.

Call to Arms. That last one didn't work? Fine. Talk to whatever cop, detective or superhero who's into that law enforcement thing if the stalker is still on the move.

Plan B. Get a gun. Learn how to use it fast.

Private to Wilson;
Shouldn't you be the one saying 'we should talk' so that I can feign ignorance then we go from there?

I don't know what you were angry about. That was a curse. Those leave memories. You'd tell me...eventually. Otherwise your silence tells me that not only do you not remember why you were angry but you want to forget that you were angry at all to begin with. If I'm right, help me get this ball rolling because pretending that everything's fine from the get go is a stretch even for me.
end;

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...You do know I keep showing up in the same office because you pay me?

Is it self-importance or comedic timing that requires you to state the obvious?

It isn't about you. Just a thought.

It was your word association. Just making sure nobody else follows the same train of thought.

Since when have you had a stalker?

Oh if you insist.

Never. Because I know how to not have a stalker. And now you do too.

(no subject)

worksmart.livejournal.com - 2010-01-29 11:11 (UTC) - Expand

vicodincrutch.livejournal.com - 2010-01-29 16:28 (UTC) - Expand

... I have no idea what it was about. I remember ... some of it, but none of the details. At all.

Peachy.

It was just a curse... I'm not mad now, I don't know why I was then. I don't even remember what I said.

You've been too ready to say that, haven't you?

private; ahahah now it's like backwards rofls <333

dr_conscience - 2010-01-30 03:18 (UTC) - Expand

private; house doesn't like this fit mmk? :I keep your big boy pants wilson

vicodincrutch.livejournal.com - 2010-01-30 03:19 (UTC) - Expand

private; <333

vicodincrutch.livejournal.com - 2010-01-30 03:20 (UTC) - Expand

private; ahahahah it's hilarious. i think he'd like them back too XD

dr_conscience - 2010-01-30 03:25 (UTC) - Expand

private; and all is right with the world

vicodincrutch.livejournal.com - 2010-01-30 03:28 (UTC) - Expand

private; hooray~ XD

dr_conscience - 2010-01-30 03:33 (UTC) - Expand

private;

vicodincrutch.livejournal.com - 2010-01-30 03:36 (UTC) - Expand

dr_conscience - 2010-01-30 03:38 (UTC) - Expand

vicodincrutch.livejournal.com - 2010-01-30 03:51 (UTC) - Expand

dr_conscience - 2010-01-30 03:58 (UTC) - Expand

vicodincrutch.livejournal.com - 2010-01-30 04:04 (UTC) - Expand

dr_conscience - 2010-01-30 04:25 (UTC) - Expand

vicodincrutch.livejournal.com - 2010-01-30 04:34 (UTC) - Expand

dr_conscience - 2010-01-30 05:01 (UTC) - Expand

Does this mean you're going to decorate a shoebox for us to leave Power Ranger cards in for you?

Actually, I've had this box for awhile, it's open on one end and it's about oh, I want to say 16 inches tall. Usually, I put a plastic bag in it and every other undesirable piece of paper or refuse in it. Why not put Valentines in it too?