099 Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.

That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what  he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.

Bidding starts at one Orange.

Comments

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I don't understand why this isn't you.

[dr_conscience]

Well, I'm clearly not as marketable. I've got the wrong hair color.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

He could always start you at a red.

[dr_conscience]

Well, it's hardly worth going through the trouble of posting for a red.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I started at an orange. Right now I'm valued at two indigo a night.

[dr_conscience]

At that price, you'd better be demanding a cut.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking about it.

[dr_conscience]

If it weren't for the curse, I'd say we were all in the wrong line of work.

Going through with the date for the winner?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I won't have to, unless they try to claim before midnight.

[dr_conscience]

That's an especially optimistic outlook.

1/2

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

It's a reasonable assumption based on the pattern of the curses.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

...You think I'm screwed.

[dr_conscience]

I don't think it's outside the realm of possibility.