099 Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.

That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what  he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.

Bidding starts at one Orange.

Comments

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Dashing. Intelligent. Not crotchety and old. Speaking of which, has anyone bid on you, Dr. House?

One orange, one yellow for the man you're offering.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

It's the nose that belies intelligence. He's Australian and as you can see it's still the original.

I'm not for sale. I know who owns me.

Top bidder as of now. Unless you want to up the score.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

Who, Wilson? I assume he wears the pants as well.

1/6

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Wilson?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Who have you been talking to?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Because they clearly do not know anything.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I'm his current boss.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

And you should be well aware of what happens when you assume.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

My sources remain unnamed.

1/4

[dr_conscience]

[dr_conscience]

What does that--

[dr_conscience]

No, forget it. I don't want to know.

[dr_conscience]

The point is-- No.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Have you been talking to Windows 97?

o hai thar. lj ate this notif alive.

[dr_conscience]

Cute nickname.

... I have. Briefly, once.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Um. You're not...bidding on both of us for the same date?

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

Oh, I am not bidding on Dr. House. At all. Ever.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

...Could we pay you to take him?

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

And what will the date be, House mocking me and staring at my chest?

That vastly depends on how much you think the above situation is worth to me, and if I agree. The answer will almost certainly be no.

Also, who is "we"?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I've never been on a date with him, but I'd imagine you're on the money.

I could ask the nurses to have a whip-round.

[citadelspirit.livejournal.com]

He did that enough the first time we spoke over the Network.

They whip House?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

They'd like to.