vicodincrutch: (lookin' at you kid)
Dr. Greg House, MD ([personal profile] vicodincrutch) wrote2010-06-05 08:30 am

099 Diagnosis

Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.

That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what  he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.

Bidding starts at one Orange.

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Hmm. Dashing. Intelligent. Not crotchety and old. Speaking of which, has anyone bid on you, Dr. House?

One orange, one yellow for the man you're offering.

[identity profile] vicodincrutch.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
It's the nose that belies intelligence. He's Australian and as you can see it's still the original.

I'm not for sale. I know who owns me.

Top bidder as of now. Unless you want to up the score.

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Who, Wilson? I assume he wears the pants as well.

[identity profile] vicodincrutch.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 07:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Wilson?

[identity profile] vicodincrutch.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 07:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Who have you been talking to?

[identity profile] vicodincrutch.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 07:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Because they clearly do not know anything.

[identity profile] vicodincrutch.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm his current boss.

[identity profile] vicodincrutch.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 07:14 pm (UTC)(link)
And you should be well aware of what happens when you assume.

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)
My sources remain unnamed.
dr_conscience: (Doubt // Sure about that?)

[personal profile] dr_conscience 2010-06-05 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
What does that--
dr_conscience: (No // Hopes you didn't just say that)

[personal profile] dr_conscience 2010-06-05 10:42 pm (UTC)(link)
No, forget it. I don't want to know.
dr_conscience: (Prodding // Gauging)

[personal profile] dr_conscience 2010-06-05 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
The point is-- No.

[identity profile] vicodincrutch.livejournal.com 2010-06-08 07:59 am (UTC)(link)
Have you been talking to Windows 97?
dr_conscience: (No // Hesitation)

o hai thar. lj ate this notif alive.

[personal profile] dr_conscience 2010-06-10 12:20 am (UTC)(link)
Cute nickname.

... I have. Briefly, once.

[identity profile] worksmart.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Um. You're not...bidding on both of us for the same date?

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I am not bidding on Dr. House. At all. Ever.

[identity profile] worksmart.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 08:32 pm (UTC)(link)
...Could we pay you to take him?

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 08:42 pm (UTC)(link)
And what will the date be, House mocking me and staring at my chest?

That vastly depends on how much you think the above situation is worth to me, and if I agree. The answer will almost certainly be no.

Also, who is "we"?

[identity profile] worksmart.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 08:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I've never been on a date with him, but I'd imagine you're on the money.

I could ask the nurses to have a whip-round.

[identity profile] citadelspirit.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
He did that enough the first time we spoke over the Network.

They whip House?

[identity profile] worksmart.livejournal.com 2010-06-05 09:04 pm (UTC)(link)
They'd like to.