Dr. Greg House, MD (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
vicodincrutch) wrote2010-06-05 08:30 am
vicodincrutch) wrote2010-06-05 08:30 am
Entry tags:
099 Diagnosis
Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.
That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.
Bidding starts at one Orange.
That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.
Bidding starts at one Orange.
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1/about three
I can't believe you're being so -
i lied, it's four
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1/3
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1/several
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3/3
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[ pause. ]
It didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped.
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