099 Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.

That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what  he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.

Bidding starts at one Orange.

Comments

DOUBLE PUNCH

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Sorry, that boat sailed.

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

...what's the bidding at now, then?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Advances on one indigo.

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

Two, then.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

You're not serious.

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

I hardly joke about this sort of thing.

1/2

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Right.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

You know I'm not... the one who came up with the auction idea.

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

Are you saying you wouldn't go through with it?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I'm saying I can't promise he'll finalise it.

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

And if I go directly through you?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

A private sale?

Two indigo three violets.

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

Acceptable.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

That's the current bid. A private sale would piss House off.

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

I see. Three indigo, then.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

What are you bidding for? Dinner?

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

I recall, from a curse day, that you play the violin.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I used to play the violin. Ten years rusty, now.

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

Well, I happen to have a violin in my possession.

And I play the piano. I would like a duet.

1/2

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Ten years. Curses aside, you might as well duet with somebody murdering a cat.

public ][

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

Well then. Likely not worth my time.

I'll withdraw.

private ][

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Then again, pissing off House is as much a vote in favour as against.

I'll take your price if you withdraw from his auction.

private ][

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

Withdrawn.

I'll see you tomorrow, Doctor Chase.

private ][

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

The palace?

private ][

[nobodyneedknow.livejournal.com]

Yes, thank you.