099 Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.

That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what  he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.

Bidding starts at one Orange.

Comments

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, no, I should imagine not. Honestly, I don't see why he would have any reason to at all, really.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

If I did, I'd give myself a better pitch.



[ooc: BB I owe you comment tags - haven't been around for a day and a half so am playing catch up.]

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I should say so. I seem to recall something about...oh, what was it? "Frickin' huge bastards of sharks with frickin' lasers", I think, that you singlehandedly took care of?


[OOC: Don't worry! I am eternally patient and fear no backdating. ♥]

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Maybe not that good of one. Did I use the word bastards?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

I seem to recall you did, yes. Though I'm really not sure how you'd manage to know whether they were or not, just from looking at them.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Pretty sure all sharks technically qualify for the title. It's just... strange, hearing it back from you.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, I'm fairly certain that's how it went. It wouldn't do to get it wrong, after all.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

You know I was out of my mind that day, don't you?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. But it was a rather good pitch, just the same.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Maybe you should bid on me.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Shall I? How high has the bidding gone thus far?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Nowhere five minutes picking oranges out of the fountain couldn't get you.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Oh. Well, we can't be having that, certainly.

I'll bid a blue on you, if you like.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Oooh, just beaten to the punch by Ms Montenegro.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Hm. Then this is the part where I keep raising the bid a bit at a time to make the really determined bidders pay more for you, isn't it?

Let's see, then. A yellow atop whatever the current bid is, I think.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Are you bidding just to get other people to bid for me?

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Well, a single orange for you is a bit insulting, isn't it?

I'm not much for buying people at all, but if it's for a good cause, I don't see why I can't do my part, just the same.

private ][

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Raise it to an indigo and I'll take you out anyway. Providing you're up to leaving the house.

private ][

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't happen to be trying to get Ms. Montenegro to go higher than an indigo for you, would you?

Still, you make quite an offer--too good, I think, to pass up. One indigo it is.

private ][ 1/2

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

You have to do it in public or it doesn't count.

now public

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

She's raised you four more greens.

now public

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

Ah, a determined opponent, I see.

Hmm. Well, they do say that fortune favors the bold. Will she go as high as an indigo, I wonder?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I'll get right back to you on that.

[primrosella.livejournal.com]

All right, do let me know.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Sorry, looks like you're out of luck this time. I wouldn't feel right letting you bid more.