099 Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.

That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what  he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.

Bidding starts at one Orange.

Comments

[adamantined]

You've been alive for more than a few years? Really? I would never have guessed that based off the fact that you can say more than a few words and don't drool all over your sailor outfit.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

More than you. I must be doing something right.

[adamantined]

Well, you've got the cranky part down. All you need now is a lawn and a couple of kids to be on it.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

To pay for someone else to mow it? How logical is that?