014. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Red letter day. Well. Maybe they aren't sins. You all could have been given diseases and now are marked for it.  A is for acute prostatitis. Not too many As around though.

I noticed a good number of Ss. S is for syphilis. That's really saying something if there are so many cases out there. Use a rubber, kids.

Ps are on the rise. Check yourselves for primary amoebic meningoencephalitis. Insomia? Headaches? Irritation? You'll thank me.

Comments

[a-cerbic.livejournal.com]

Why, yes, it does...

What do you have for 'A'~?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I hope it isn't atresia, lady.

[a-cerbic.livejournal.com]

Oh I can assure you it isn't. Wanna come see for yourself?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Are you contagious?

[a-cerbic.livejournal.com]

Enough small talk. Shut up and come do me.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Nymphomania doesn't start with A.

[a-cerbic.livejournal.com]

Someone knows their alphabet!

Sadly, I'm not impressed.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

And yet someone got wet at the mention of venereal disease.

I'm Doctor House, and other than eager who are you?

[a-cerbic.livejournal.com]

Nearly wet. There's a big difference.

Jordan Sullivan.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Two second hands off diagnosis was close.

So Miss Sullivan, you like a man in latex gloves.

[a-cerbic.livejournal.com]

...No, not really. It's really whoever happens to catch my attention at the time, or who's convenient.

That is, if it's not spiteful sex.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Ah, honest and up front.

Spiteful?

[a-cerbic.livejournal.com]

Only when it suits me.

Yes, spiteful. Revenge sex is the best.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

You are the voice of revenge sex experience I see.

[a-cerbic.livejournal.com]

You could say that.

So, what are you? Besides your average egotistical doctor, of course.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Antisocial, brutally honest, damaged and damn bitter. I like motorcycles, fried food and Carmen Electra. I hate the military, sexism, feminism, racisms, oh yeah and sarcasm.

[a-cerbic.livejournal.com]

Oh, my god.

Take out Carmen Electra from the things you like, add Hugh Jackman to the things you hate and you're my ex husband.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I guess this is the end of the affair, Scarlet.