082. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

The line starts here for rabies shots. Seriously. And while you're at it, pick up some Advantage on your way home. You'll thank me. A young boy who shall remain nameless can testify to the magical healing powers of precaution.

Feeling bad? Could be worse. You could have hirsutism or hypertrichosis. Talk about a hairy situation. Hormones and DNA are to blame, it depends on the case. Imagine having to lint roll yourself everyday. Really it would be easy though especially if you make a cool million off of the Ringling Brothers.

I've covered hairy and bitches to some degree. But not as much as I should. Paging Dr. Lisa Cuddy. I have a feeling she skipped out. This calls for pizza with everything and beer.

Comments

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

Hey, I don't give myself the goddamn vaccines. Doctors said I needed 'em before shipping out.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

All you do is take them like a man and get your sticker. Of course.

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

What do you expect me to do? Cry like a pussy?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Ask what their injecting into your arm in case if there's an allergy. Or side effect.

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

I did. I'm not allergic to mercury and it's safe. Just unpleasant.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Mercury is safe. Until it poisons you.

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

Then why'd the doctors give it to all the soldiers? These guys have PhDs, ya know.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

There are a number of reasons. I'd take a guess to say they didn't know any better. Especially if you're saying 'shipped off', they haven't done that since Vietnam.

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

Vietnam? Don't know if any of us went there. I was in France. Good gateway to Germany.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

You don't say.

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

Yeah. We won by the way. Thanks to me. Mercury or no.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

You don't say. I never would have thought.

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

Well now you know, smarty pants.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

What happened to Private Ryan?

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

There's tons of Private Ryans and I didn't work with any of 'em, you gotta be more specific.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Private James Francis Ryan of Iowa?

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

Nope, didn't know him. Friend of yours?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

no. I didn't. But do you know if they saved him?

[thebearjew.livejournal.com]

No clue. You know where he was stationed?