vicodincrutch: (take it to the whiteboard)
2010-07-20 10:16 pm

102 Diagnosis

Video//Filtered from Chase//Unhackable

[A whiteboard standing upright and mounted on what appears to be a sink. There's white and pale, pale blue tiles beyond the metal frame of the whiteboard. The camera jerks and then shows a jerk, House. Behind him is a bathroom stall.]

Now we're where a man can get some privacy.

[He turns the camera quickly back to the whiteboard.]


We need to get to the bottom of this. Why? Because it's suspicious. So soon after an influx of people it is possible that there was a transferred disease or virus left behind. Our subject is Dr. Robert Chase. Something is wrong. What exactly? That's yet to be determined.

[While he's talking, House is writing the word SYMPTOMS. Below that he writes no shame, homosexual tendencies?, zero tact. He stops and looks over his shoulder.]

Feel free to chime in at anytime.

[Oh wait. With an overly dramatic sigh, House caps the dry erase pen.]

Any trait out of the ordinary could be a symptom. Anything. That's why we're listing them. So far it looks neurological. If that's the case, did he hit is head? Did he take anything? More witnesses [muttered] more liability... The easier it will be to figure this out quickly.

[There. That should be clear enough. He uncaps the pen again.]

All of this is confidential. Unless you want him to get more sick and die.

[the white board keeps the score]

SYMPTOMS
no shame
homosexual tendencies => promiscuity
zero tact
memory loss
vicodincrutch: (lookin' at you kid)
2010-06-05 08:30 am

099 Diagnosis

Let me guess, you're lonely. You go to parties and sit in the corner of the room looking longingly at the throng hoping that one of them will approach you and begin that fairytale come true. The clock is ticking, all the elasticity is being worn out in your face. You're holding onto your youth as though it's life itself. How much longer til you fall all the way over the hill and hit the bottom? Who knows. Studies have shown that being without close human contact shortens your life.

That's why you need this guy. Take a look. He has all of his teeth and is house trained too. Those are not hair plugs. Take a good look at him. Already you like him. Blond, blue eyed. Not fat. It doesn't matter what his personality is, does it? It doesn't even matter what  he does for a living. (He's a doctor if you have to know.) This is the one. Why? Because he's so attainable. Just for you.

Bidding starts at one Orange.
vicodincrutch: (gross/rock impression/grrr)
2009-12-29 07:20 pm

088. Diagnosis

Santa brought me a case. Yippee. The old dude neglected to give me a means. I'm not waiting til next year. That wasn't what was on my list either. Better than socks. I figure that's coming out even.

I'm not the fuzz. I'll leave the policing to the police. I want to see your guts. More specifically, was there anything medically significant about the body(ies). Humor me. Tis the season. You got a scare. You get someone else to comfort you. The yucky organs are taken off of your hands.

In other news, snow sucks. So does public transit. It sure would be great to have an alternative, swift means of transportation. Who's got a motorcycle?