vicodincrutch | 037. Diagnosis

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037. Diagnosis

Day of the Dead XI now playing in your closest window. Emmett, do we have any popcorn?

For those of us who are insane and not sexually active and need to venture out onset, bring a flame thrower or hockey stick. Make it a flame thrower. It's better to watch and more sanitary.

Speaking of sanitary, wash your hands and turn your head when you cough, especially around this guy. If you've been just the gosh-golly do-gooders ~~Allison Cameron~~ that you all pride yourself on being and gave him a big bear hug of a hello--congratulations, you're infected. Come see me, just not now. Zombie bite and possible malignant scarlet fever...badass combo. ...I wonder if that would be treatable.

EDIT: Julia. I have your medication. See me after the show.

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I did. Shithole told me he needed to check for cancer. I came in because I was bleeding out, not because of cancer.

You don't know you have cancer until you have cancer, Punky Brewster. And you don't know you have cancer until you check. Cancer doesn't make nice with you to get into your pants, it just comes right on in.

I know. My blood would tell me.

If it is anything like that Thrax joker I'd get a second opinion.

No, it's a lot more metafuckingphysical.

I'd know but I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Magic's a crock of shite, you know.

Metaphysics and medicine don't often cross paths. Get over yourself and get checked.

...Wow. There's hope for youth after all.

You're what? In your fifties, had a muscle in your leg die, blood couldn't get to it. You don't smoke, but you've done your share of hallucinogens, dunno about pot, none in the past six weeks, anyway.

You pump some chemical into yourself daily and your body's used to it; if you got off you'd probably want to die.

Blood has a long memory, mate. If I know your body, trust me, I know mine.

[ooc: Hope this is okay, Morry, if it's not I can delete and reply again!]

There's a difference between opioid and a hallucinogen. You're not telling me anything new. Who is the doctor here?

Nice trick. What's my favorite color?

Can't tell you that, but I know that you've had at least 3 blood transfusions in the past five years.

Magic is a reliable source?

It's not good for much, realize. Just for knowing pointless, stupid shite like this.

Oh yeah. Completely pointless.

What are they paying you to deliver newspapers?

I do contract work for Brocklehurst. It's okay pay.

Ask him for a raise and a lab job.

Which lab?

Mine. I have a gay hunchback and everything.

You want me to work for you?

When you put it like that you make it sound like I want to be around you. Which I don't. You could be useful. And you can get that pony you always wanted.

I'm better with bombs than with people.

Perfect.

One day a week should work.

What kind of Doctor are you?

I'm billed as a private physician. They've stuck me with the routine stuff for now. Child's play.

Yeah? I don't know anything about medicine, you know.

It's a good thing I won't be asking you anything about medicine.

...you tell Brocklehurst.

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vicodincrutch.livejournal.com - 2008-04-29 20:21 (UTC) - Expand

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eiremagic - 2008-04-29 20:22 (UTC) - Expand

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