051. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

You're older. Yippy skippy. I'm sure you're just thrilled about the crow's feet and cellulite. Not to mention insurance, retiring, making ends meet and still trying to fit into those tight pants.

When you're jail bait everything is roses? Think again. It's never going to last. One way or another the joke is on you, it's all a tease. Unless you dig cosmetic surgery. Oh maybe then there is hope. At 40 you'll be playing make believe and dress up pretending you're a 25 year old. That's mature.

Kind of sexy too.

Me? I feel fine. I appoint myself to be a kindly Hambert Hambert soul and rate the growth on a scale of one to ten. I'm seeing a good number of 8s. Someone gimme a ten.

Comments

[eastern-magic.livejournal.com]

I am afraid that I do not understand this...

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Here's the break down:




0-3 You are Ugly, you should wear a mask, get a face job or work at the circus.

4-5 You're Decent. Better after a few drinks.


6-7 Cute, but not Beautiful. You're Katie Holmes


8 You're in your prime. Take a picture it may last longer. You're more beautiful than most people.


9 Why aren't you in the movies?


10 What are you doing tonight?

[eastern-magic.livejournal.com]

...You've really thought this out.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

There has to be some kind of a system.

[eastern-magic.livejournal.com]

If you insist.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Oh I do. That's how things roll.