028. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Doctors who give advice to people going through withdrawals are obvious idiots.

February is a stupid month. I don't mean that based on artificial flavoring and blatant marketing strategy day. Leap year and all that. Screws with the calender and gets in the way of Saint Patrick's Day.

Speaking of which: "Drinking kills braincells."

News flash. Alcohol abuse, we're talking drinking like a fish, full on inebriation regularly, can cause serious neurological damage, like Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome. Cells injured are dendrites on neurons in the cerebellum, a part of the brain involved in learning and physical coordination. But even in such extreme cases, there’s a lack of evidence that alcohol kills brain cells.

Anyone else have a ridiculous old wives tale? Wait. Don't answer that.

Comments

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

You say that like it's a bad thing. Think of the bikinis.

[not-avampire.livejournal.com]

I'd rather not, it's a medical hazard.

You have fun with that, though, I'll live vicariously through you.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Does your head explode at the thought of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition?

[not-avampire.livejournal.com]

No, but I think that's the excuse I'm gonna start going with.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

It's okay. I wont' tell your boyfriend you were talking about half naked women.

[not-avampire.livejournal.com]

If I had one, he'd probably already know. But, hey, thanks for the thought, I guess.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

What's the problem then? Are you inverted?

[not-avampire.livejournal.com]

Invert- Oh, no. Sexually transmitted parasite.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

That's why you wear a condom.

I hope you never get carpal tunnel.

[not-avampire.livejournal.com]

It's a parasite, not an STI, it gets through plastic.

Me too.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

What?

[not-avampire.livejournal.com]

The parasite's spores are viable saliva, and they're still small enough to penetrate latex.

...And I hope I don't get carpal tunnel, too.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

When or where are you from?

Symptoms?

[not-avampire.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jesus, man I've had this thing for over nine years, I'm fine, and my apartment's near vacuum-sealed. Nothing gets in or out, including me.

Symptoms are generally insanity and cannibalism, but I'm just a carrier.