Dr. Greg House, MD (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
vicodincrutch) wrote2011-11-25 08:27 pm
vicodincrutch) wrote2011-11-25 08:27 pm
Entry tags:
129 Diagnosis
video;
[Blip! On goes the network device. Have an unflattering up angle at the bristly chin of House.]
Let's be real. It's on your calender. And for at least eleven months out of the year you don't think about how warm and fuzzy you are, how far you'll travel or even the prayer you're going to say. People say Thanksgiving and you think about [the network device is now hovering before a plate that's pretty much a small buffet] this.
[Closer! Over the mountain of mashed potatoes and it's lava flow of gravy. He even turns the plate on the counter top. There are voices coming from another room indistinct, so yeah he is taking time to pull away and do this.]
Do you see this? Four days. Four days of this. No regrets.
[Behold the glory of green bean casserole. Beside it of course stuffing. Turkey slices, light and dark. Oops. Too close the screen fogs over. House flips it back around to rub it off on his t-shirt.]
People pay extra for a channel of this. Hours and hours. You get this for free. You're welcome.
[One last look then back to that wrinkled face.]
As I was saying... Thanksgiving should be renamed. That's not how people spend it. It's not how they remember it. Just a day for thankfulness? [Scrunched up thoughtful face as if he's listening for a response. Wait. Is that a veiled positive sentiment? The moment has passed!] Whatever. Day of gluttony. I'm not sorry.
[Blip! On goes the network device. Have an unflattering up angle at the bristly chin of House.]
Let's be real. It's on your calender. And for at least eleven months out of the year you don't think about how warm and fuzzy you are, how far you'll travel or even the prayer you're going to say. People say Thanksgiving and you think about [the network device is now hovering before a plate that's pretty much a small buffet] this.
[Closer! Over the mountain of mashed potatoes and it's lava flow of gravy. He even turns the plate on the counter top. There are voices coming from another room indistinct, so yeah he is taking time to pull away and do this.]
Do you see this? Four days. Four days of this. No regrets.
[Behold the glory of green bean casserole. Beside it of course stuffing. Turkey slices, light and dark. Oops. Too close the screen fogs over. House flips it back around to rub it off on his t-shirt.]
People pay extra for a channel of this. Hours and hours. You get this for free. You're welcome.
[One last look then back to that wrinkled face.]
As I was saying... Thanksgiving should be renamed. That's not how people spend it. It's not how they remember it. Just a day for thankfulness? [Scrunched up thoughtful face as if he's listening for a response. Wait. Is that a veiled positive sentiment? The moment has passed!] Whatever. Day of gluttony. I'm not sorry.
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I feel fortunate that this Holiday does not exist in my Country. We have something similar but Americans have a way of... celebrating in such an interesting way.
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Sweets. Dear God. It's worth bonding over. If House can bond with people. The jury is out on that.]
Overeating and explosives are our typical holiday staples. [Said with pride.]
Oh and stampeding one another for electronics. I forgot about that. Shoot.
I can tell you and I are going to be friends.
One at a time or both at the same time? []
Stampeding for electronics? The time I am from things are not half as advanced so you'll have to forgive me if I do not entirely understand.
8D
Usually it's one or the other. Our Independence Day has both. Stick around. It's really something.
[Excuse him as he munches in the most disgusting, American way.]
Imagine a telescope that everyone wants that's marked down to a flea market price except there are only a half a dozen but the crowd doesn't know it. Have that picture? Now place it in an suburban neighborhood where suddenly it's blood sport.
[He forgives surprisingly and in fact he would like someone else to share the absurd, condescending pleasure.]
/o/
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You will have to forgive me but... some of your terms are foreign to me. I am from the late eighteenth century and these... 'flea markets' and 'suburban neighborhoods' do not exist in England.
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Cheap, open air market. And typical, domestic housing for middle class.
[Maybe it's true what they say about the English and not having any sense of humor at all. He'll just chew on that spitefully along with his next fork full.]
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Limited supply and demand. I suppose it was only a matter of time before that caught on- people honestly fight about that these days?
Ah, forgive me, I did not introduce myself. I am Ciel Phantomhive and you are?
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Yes. And try to get their even earlier to get one of those half a dozen fancy telescopes. A portion of it is the thrill of the hunt for bored housewives. The killer instinct has to come out somehow.
[Shrug.]
Greg House. I'm a doctor. [And Ciel...has one of the most loopy names to him ever.] Were your parents into experimental or recreational narcotics or were they French?
oh you house oh you
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...Neither. I come from a noble family... but titles mean very little here. I am Earl Ciel Phantomhive.
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Re: oh you house oh you
[That's the first mistake, Ciel. Don't ever excuse or make allowances because....there will just be more reasons.]
That could have easily been the name of a band.
[He no curr bout titles but now he is even more interesting.]
Is your family related to H. R. Puffinstuff?
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No...?
My family worked directly for Queen Victoria and names like this were common place in that era. I seriously doubt, however, we are from the same world.
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So you say you are a doctor... what of, then?
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Do tell. Because the History Channel didn't--that's an educational program that frequently gave insight to time and places of the past.
[Phantomhive. What is this even. Old things don't always make sense to House. Neither do City things. In fact City things still puzzle him and frustrate him more than he likes to let on.]
Diagnostics and internal medicine. The fun stuff.
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History Channel?
As you can imagine, medicine then is not what medicine is now, so I am interested as to exactly what that is.
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[He would want to know. And hopefully be eating popcorn with a nice big soda too taking it all in. Especially if there's tits and ass in there too.]
All educational entertainment. It's a strange combination.
[More drink gulping.]
I find out what the malady is then figure out how to treat it. We've got machines to do almost everything. [Sarcasm. Lots of it.]
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Interesting. Your thinly veiled attempt at sarcasm is astonishing. You dislike machines, then?
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[This is like breathing. And he could go on and on. Well, could nothing. He is going to. Nice to have some other mutual party to volley. Wilson does have the drive for seriousness.
They should have a serious conversation except he's been evading. It is another House thing to do.
It's better to talk to patronizing pirate eyed English brats.]
I love them. I hate what they are beginning to make the field lazy. Contrary to popular belief they fail too.
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Nothing is perfect, I suppose, if you want something done correctly better off doing it yourself. Even if there are things to make life more convenient.
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[Servants = interns, estate = hospital. Oh Jesus.]
It again comes to the glorification of objects. They don't think independently, they never will. They can be programmed or fine tuned to do mundane tasks but to find a cancer there needs to be a mind and hand behind it. Pills don't do everything.
[Except for vicodin. It always does everything House wants.]
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Of course not. Medicine always seemed to me it would become more difficult the more it was understood and people would be needed to understand it. Many things concerning when one was ill in my particular time period were primitive and clumsy at best.
Some of the medical procedures would have horrified you.
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[Or posters. Or history. House really does know a few things about Victorian times from literature and from morbid curiosity with bouts of insomnia. It's more than interesting to hear it first hand, even though it seems skewed. Different universe kind of skewed.]
The only thing worse than neglecting to grasp the basics is believing that you know everything there is to know.
[This may or may not be something of a fault he's admitting of himself.]
I was thinking the same thing.
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One could never know everything even if they had an eternity to learn it. Doctors can be incredibly arrogant and it generally results in someone losing their life.
Perhaps some of the old medical books I have would interest you if you would like to see. They are, however, mostly laughable.
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Clearly you need to write an instructional manual on the matter.
[Because it's so fascinating and so full of bullshit. The sourpuss never is a fan of expectations or social norms.]
The other option would be live and learn. For the doctor I mean.
[Arrogance? ....it's too easy to touch on that subject.]
I like a good laugh.
[Innards are easier to figure out after you've seen.]
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I will find them for you. It may take some time, however, the library is fairly large. Although, you are welcome to visit my Estate if you would like.
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Estate. [For highballs? Surely the City wouldn't begrudge a pint-size so and so his minor illegal luxuries.] I'll see what's on the calender.
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Ah, yes, because I am sure your schedule is ever so busy now that you do not have your work to worry about.
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