045. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Time to cut the joke short. Anyone with the obnoxious, laughing affliction, there's good news. You haven't been eating people or tainted meat. It isn't kuru. As a little birdie may have told you, it's from an inhaled toxic substance. Lucky you!

Anyway, if you can shut up and stay still long enough, I'll give you an injection and we can all laugh about this later.

No suckers, no stickers.That's just how I roll.

Comments

[lyra-of-dust.livejournal.com]

Why would they be eating people though?

All of these diseases-or poisons... It looks like they were deliberatly being spread around.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Because they're people persons. Okay. That was awful. I admit it. It's been a really long day.

Cannibalism often has cases of kuru. Look it up. Great stuff. Stephen King hasn't touched it yet.

No kidding.

[lyra-of-dust.livejournal.com]

And they are what they eat?

Wait until you hear about what they were doing with the rats, and what I found on the bloody device.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Good one, Lyra.

I love a good story. Lay it on me.

Private

[lyra-of-dust.livejournal.com]

As the rats were born, the device was injecting them with something- Three guesses what.

And there was a card, on the machine. "RSVP 21 June".

Private

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Our friend the plague. Animal cruelty can be added to the offenses. Too bad our tiny friends can't talk.

The summer solstice?

Private

[lyra-of-dust.livejournal.com]

Possibly something to mess with their brains, to. They lacked any fear of humans- instead, they were seeking 'em out.

That, and the day the infections started.

Private

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Trained rats have no reason to fear humans. It isn't hard to train them. I shouldn't be telling you this. Aren't you a beastmaster?

This party blows.

Private

[lyra-of-dust.livejournal.com]

I didn't see any sign of them being trained. And Pan's not an animal, and the thing with the birds... That was magic. Sorry, I actually don't know much about animal training.

The rats didn't fear humans... instead, they followed them and bit them.

It blows bloody chunks of rotting flesh, but it was considerate of them to leave a card for us to track them down with.

Private

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

You don't think a person could train a rat to do that?

Anything in the ink? Has Scooby Doo caught a scent?

Private

[lyra-of-dust.livejournal.com]

Something about their behaviour seems weirder than just being trained.

Mr. Watari's looking at it. Who's Scooby Doo? Neuro's the one who helped me out- you ought to meet him sometime!

Private

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Maybe they're high. Maybe they're robots. I could go on.

Scooby Doo is a crime fighting dog with serious stress coping problems.

Private

[lyra-of-dust.livejournal.com]

We'll find out soon, either way.

You've met him? I didn't know you took care of animals, to! I'll have to ask you to give Neuro a checkup sometime!

[shit-stings.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's-- [giggles] That's what that shi-- [hahafuckinha] Hooboy.

I'mma [Heeee.] I'mma grab a drink, doc.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Okay, Funny Guy. Get your keister over here.

Save the drink for later.

[shit-stings.livejournal.com]

Nah, I-- Pfft. Got it in my hand, Joe.

[hardyhar] Gimmeaminute.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

It won't do you any good unless you do something about it. You know? Liiike, oh I don't know take it. Call me crazy.

[shit-stings.livejournal.com]

Heh. 'Kay. You're crazy.

[fiercer bout of laughter, probably a bit overdrawn, breathing struggles, etc.] Startin' to.. Hurt. Fuckin' Christ... A-alright! Fuck...

[Give it a moment, and... Chug, chug, choke, chug, giggle.]

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Listen, Judd Clampett, you're giggles aren't going to go away on their own. Budwiser isn't going to help.

[shit-stings.livejournal.com]

Fine, fine. Lemme'-- [new usual interruption] Find th'fuckin' off-- Office.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I've got a bum leg and I'm faster than you. Move it.

[shit-stings.livejournal.com]

Shut the-- Shh. I'm comin', I'm comin'.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

About time.

[ourdenouement.livejournal.com]

The City he~ro~

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

All in a days work. Forward the contract for movie rights and our people will do lunch.

[ourdenouement.livejournal.com]

Superman! Where's your cape?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Dry cleaners. I keep forgetting.

[ourdenouement.livejournal.com]

I hope it's velvet. Silk?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Silk? What is this? Las Vegas?

1/2

[ourdenouement.livejournal.com]

DON'T EVEN SUGGEST SUCH A THING!

[ourdenouement.livejournal.com]

...Unless superheroes come from Las Vegas!

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

No. I don't come from Las Vegas.

[ourdenouement.livejournal.com]

Where do you come from, oh mighty Superman?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

The planet New Jersey, only after escaping with my tremendous powers from the explosion that killed off my kind.

[ourdenouement.livejournal.com]

New Jersey and injections, huh.


Some kinda drug addict?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Who? Me?

No. I would never touch the stuff.

[doujin-dork.livejournal.com]

There's starting to be cures for the illnesses? That's great!

. . . Eating people?