110 Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Eden, I had no idea how treacherous your life is. Now that I do, I think I'm going to get you lifts for Christmas. There, that one was easy.

I know not everyone spent the majority of their day on a desktop or licking Vicodin--for lack of a tool and trust worthy help to crumble it a person will do what they must. Any tiny man complex jokes will be dealt with accordingly.

I feel compelled to ask the masses how their trip went. A lot less Jefferson Airplane than I take it. We'll talk about that. Not other stuff like how many curses there have been. Who wants to hear about that? The concentration of curses has lead people to believe that something big and or bad is going to happen. No one wants to hear a chaos theory this time of year because we going to compare trees in an absolutely Freudian free way.

Does anyone have a cold? Does anyone want a cold?

Comments

[eiremagic]

I can't walk in heels, House.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Think of it as a platform.

[eiremagic]

You ate one of the bloody mushrooms, didn't you?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I answered that didn't I?

[eiremagic]

I hope it doesn't make you sick.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Define sick.

[eiremagic]

You're a fucking diagnostician. Do I really have to tell you what mushrooms can do to you?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Not make me sick. I'm very not sick right now.

[eiremagic]

Okay, fine. What the fuck do you want for Christmas?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Not lifts now anyway. And no ugly sweaters. I'll accept edibles.

[eiremagic]

I'll bake you something.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I'll expect it to be spectacular.

[eiremagic]

Yeah, yeah, I hear you. Don't fuck it up.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

And make sure it's surpasses anything I've ever consumed from your kitchen.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Ohhhh.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Trees are phallic, yes.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I wondered where you went.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

You wondered why it was quiet.

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

I brought you lunch.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Where is it?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Well I ate it when you didn't show up. ...I don't really like Reubens.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Don't you believe in refrigerators?

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

It's a hot sandwich, House.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

If only there was a device that could heat items after they've been cooled for preservation... if only!

[worksmart.livejournal.com]

Right, or if only there was a place somewhere in the hospital that might be able to construct a new one.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Or, wait for it, buy one.

text

[seekinghead.livejournal.com]

[dr_conscience]

Ah, a rhinovirus infection. Finally, a perfect gift for the person who has everything.

[neverplay]

You should dress up as santa. You'd be perfect.