008. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Friction causes fire. Witches use fire! Friction is evil! Goodness! You know, let's start killing the people who can whistle or snap their fingers.  Fornication uses friction too. 

Here's an idea. Let's get all the witches together and make them follow a separate code of conduct. To identify them, sew some yellow stars on every item of their clothing. And then let's put em into a controlled neighborhood and---Ah, now that I have your attention:

Christ people, the very staple of this place is based on bippity boppity boo. Remember? Your mother probably sniffed pixie dust and that's how half of you came into being. Stop harassing the other morons. Magic is DUMB and an EASY WAY OUT. Fine, I agree but don't be the Gestapo about it. I hate everyone who can run. Can I set them on fire? I will. Don't tempt me.

You all are wonderfully showing how impressionable and controllable you are. A bit of the right magic influence from the City itself and look at what you do. Really now, this curse is unimaginative and based on sensationalism. The original Salem trials ended up hanging only nineteen. Ten more were convicted. Oh, but I suppose the dieties are going all out so this has to be a European witch hunt.

Comments

[glock30.livejournal.com]

But I've got my trusty Bible.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Are they aware that possible danger they are putting future generations in by allowing the woman to read? Obviously they've never been to Catholic school to see the damage.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

You think they'd be shocked to hear that women also hold positions in politics and vote, too?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Best keep that underwraps. If your whole gender starts getting burned at the stake we're doomed. It will be only after the smoke clears that everyone understands the reproductive process.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

The smoke in their thick heads or the smoke in general?

Because I don't think one of those is about to clear out anytime soon.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

It's a damn shame.

Ah well, join the bandwagon? You burn your bras please.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't go that far. There are too many perverts around here.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Right. Right. Smart lady.

Have you been playing dumb and wearing a burka to avoid persecution?

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Covered from head to toe really isn't my style.

It's Faye, by the way.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Nor should it be. Heresy.

I'm Greg.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

I hope you aren't one of those perverts.

That's... common.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Me? A pervert? Nah.

Ah, but how many Gregs are doctors?

[glock30.livejournal.com]

You could at least try to be convincing.

How the hell should I know? I try to steer clear from doctors, personally.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

The more I'd protest the more you'd doubt me. The less I protest, the more you don't believe me.

May be a bit of a shock but doctors tend to make you live longer. The good ones that is.

[glock30.livejournal.com]

Well at least you aren't an idiot.

That's not a shock at all.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Quite the contrary if I can say so.

It wouldn't hurt to have a doctor for a friend. Or so I'm told.