008. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Friction causes fire. Witches use fire! Friction is evil! Goodness! You know, let's start killing the people who can whistle or snap their fingers.  Fornication uses friction too. 

Here's an idea. Let's get all the witches together and make them follow a separate code of conduct. To identify them, sew some yellow stars on every item of their clothing. And then let's put em into a controlled neighborhood and---Ah, now that I have your attention:

Christ people, the very staple of this place is based on bippity boppity boo. Remember? Your mother probably sniffed pixie dust and that's how half of you came into being. Stop harassing the other morons. Magic is DUMB and an EASY WAY OUT. Fine, I agree but don't be the Gestapo about it. I hate everyone who can run. Can I set them on fire? I will. Don't tempt me.

You all are wonderfully showing how impressionable and controllable you are. A bit of the right magic influence from the City itself and look at what you do. Really now, this curse is unimaginative and based on sensationalism. The original Salem trials ended up hanging only nineteen. Ten more were convicted. Oh, but I suppose the dieties are going all out so this has to be a European witch hunt.

Comments

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

I have more dignity than that. And the name is Mao.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Can can live with dignity, sure but do you want to die with it or survive?

Mao. Huh. Well, Blackie fits more but sure. Mao, you're the second animal I've spoken to directly.

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

I meant there are better witch-hunter-free places to be than dumpsters, even though my roommate already chased me out of the apartment.

Mao is the Chinese word for cat. Rather unimaginative, but it works. Was it the hellhound, the German Shepherd, the pine marten, or one of the two cats who claim to be mech pilots?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I'm sure there are. Being in an ordinary place were an ordinary cat would be would be among the more beneficial hideouts. You can always bathe tomorrow.

I know. That makes you a cat called Cat.

I talked with a rather pushy pine marten. ...There's a talking dog?

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure even ordinary cats are safe today. My roommate threw a chair and knives at me just because of the color of my fur.

Yes, there is. I didn't catch his name, but we agreed on a truce after he decided I wasn't working for the Egyptian goddess Bast.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Double treat. What's the next plan then? Go feral?

What would a German dog know about Egypt?

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

For the moment, anyway. Hopefully at least one of my acquaintances in the City isn't cursed or being hunted.

I haven't the faintest idea.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

About a six more hours to go. I'm sure things will last. Curses are only what? 24 hours?

Fido needs a geography lesson or five.

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

That's what I've been told.

He talked as if Bast actually existed where he's from.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

The clock is ticking.

Germany?

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

I'm assuming either Bast moved or he did.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Do goddesses move?

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

Well, likely a goddess can choose to manifest wherever she wants. So in a sense.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Why would she move away from the place where she's most worshipped? About that time, the Germans were pelt wearing, ax toting barbarians...I think.

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

I think at this point, you'll have to find the dog and ask him.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Maybe sometime. You both can swap stories after today.

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

I'm sure.

And could I ask for your name?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Dr. Greg House. I'm not a vet. Sorry.

[cat-contractor.livejournal.com]

Nice to meet you, doctor. And I'm sure I'll manage.

buttinski

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

You don't need to worry about Barnabas, he just gets excited at the prospect of chasing something other than his own tail.

Evening, Dr. House. Do you have a right side of bed to get out on?



[ooc: largely an excuse for the mun to ask if it's alright to bother House mun on AIM sometime?]

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Barnabas. Now that is a name for a pet.

Miss Walker, I think every bed that wakes with me is just asking for it.

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

I think he's less of a pet and more of a legal guardian, with a small sideline in art critique. Fido wouldn't suit him.

That might explain your bedside manner. Is it the furniture or the occupant that provokes you?

[ooc: ftw.]

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I guess not. More power to the talking dog then.

Hm. I'm not partial to furniture. I like vehicles.

[ohrosalita.livejournal.com]

You could start up an mobile clinic. They work out of vans, but I don't think they have the same payment scale.