vicodincrutch | Dial Tone

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Dial Tone

"House. Leave a message."

Open for: text, email, voicemail, horrific late night calls, assorted action.

Reaching out to touch someone? You know there are policies in the hospital. Tiny print is such a turn off though, isn't it?

[This shows Chase by his locker, towelling off]

Did you want something? I came off shift an hour ago.

Oh I know you came off an hour ago. There was no need to share though.

...Excuse me?

Who's your friend? He doesn't look like your type.

[Chase frowns, and the view changes to the inside of his locker. When he picks the device up again, he's wearing a shirt.]

Look, it's almost midnight. I'm worn out. Either this is getting to a point, or I'm going home.

I've got video evidence of you pulling a George Michael, only this is more of a surprise.

[Pause, pause pause. Someone familiar with Chase and his aptitude for lying may appreciate that he genuinely doesn't know what this is about.]

...Singing?

I was thinking something more physical. No, homosexual.

[Which is hardly new territory for House's jokes.]

And your punchline is? I assume it's going to be better than the build up.

You're the one taking bananas for a ride and I'm the one under scrutiny?

No, I'm not. Which means you're trying to provoke a reaction from me by implying you've seen something that doesn't exist. Which means either you've come up with something you think's going to be hilarious or tonights L Word was a repeat.

I'm not laughing. I misplaced my tearless eye bleach for such occasions and the L Word reruns are always worth seeing again.

What were you doing?

Taking a shower.

[Little shake of the wet hair, here. See?]

With your friend. Your male friend.

No, I- [For the body language experts, the direction Chase's eyes dart in first is usually connected with honesty. But then he's staring straight down the lens, a sure-fire tell.] Yes. He asked me to check a mole.

You don't hold office on after hours unless it's an emergency. And not in the shower.

That's when he asked me.

[Chase's voice is flat. It's pulled just enough of a cover story from his mind and is sticking to it.]

Not much point telling me what I don't do when, clearly, I did.

Clearly.

[As far as Chase(ish) is concerned, the matter is all cleared up.]

Are we done now? I'd like to put my pants on.

Is that what the other guy said?

[There's a pause here where Chase looks utterly blank.]

...Probably.

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Dial Tone

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