vicodincrutch | Dial Tone

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Dial Tone

"House. Leave a message."

Open for: text, email, voicemail, horrific late night calls, assorted action.

[The men's shower room at the city hospital is brightly lit and hot enough to cast steamy halos around the two water-slick men pressed into a corner of a stall. One, hair turned dark-blond under the spray, leans dizzily into the chest of the other: taller, closer cropped with lean muscle knotted down his forearms. It's Frankie Dalton, should you recognise him, and the man murmuring something soft and unintelligible to him through the spray is Princeton-Plainsboro's finest Aussie.

Carefully, Frankie folds an arm around Chase's shoulders and helps him to his knees. The video cuts out.]

Reaching out to touch someone? You know there are policies in the hospital. Tiny print is such a turn off though, isn't it?

[This shows Chase by his locker, towelling off]

Did you want something? I came off shift an hour ago.

Oh I know you came off an hour ago. There was no need to share though.

...Excuse me?

Who's your friend? He doesn't look like your type.

[Chase frowns, and the view changes to the inside of his locker. When he picks the device up again, he's wearing a shirt.]

Look, it's almost midnight. I'm worn out. Either this is getting to a point, or I'm going home.

I've got video evidence of you pulling a George Michael, only this is more of a surprise.

[Pause, pause pause. Someone familiar with Chase and his aptitude for lying may appreciate that he genuinely doesn't know what this is about.]

...Singing?

I was thinking something more physical. No, homosexual.

[Which is hardly new territory for House's jokes.]

And your punchline is? I assume it's going to be better than the build up.

You're the one taking bananas for a ride and I'm the one under scrutiny?

No, I'm not. Which means you're trying to provoke a reaction from me by implying you've seen something that doesn't exist. Which means either you've come up with something you think's going to be hilarious or tonights L Word was a repeat.

I'm not laughing. I misplaced my tearless eye bleach for such occasions and the L Word reruns are always worth seeing again.

What were you doing?

Taking a shower.

[Little shake of the wet hair, here. See?]

With your friend. Your male friend.

No, I- [For the body language experts, the direction Chase's eyes dart in first is usually connected with honesty. But then he's staring straight down the lens, a sure-fire tell.] Yes. He asked me to check a mole.

You don't hold office on after hours unless it's an emergency. And not in the shower.

That's when he asked me.

[Chase's voice is flat. It's pulled just enough of a cover story from his mind and is sticking to it.]

Not much point telling me what I don't do when, clearly, I did.

Clearly.

[As far as Chase(ish) is concerned, the matter is all cleared up.]

Are we done now? I'd like to put my pants on.

Is that what the other guy said?

[There's a pause here where Chase looks utterly blank.]

...Probably.

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Dial Tone

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