vicodincrutch | 114 Diagnosis

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114 Diagnosis

Stop trying to tote your wares. Make the time mean something. I don't want to see the contrived personality you think would be most presentable because chances are, it's false and disgusting. Think of a twinkie. Delicious, zero substance and once you know what's in it for real only the brave and stupid charge onward. I am brave, but I am not that stupid.

I can also see that this won't go anywhere if you're up for that kind of a game. You won't win.

[ooc; going to a charity show! be back much later to taaaaaaaaaaag <3 <3]

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Why, don't tell me I've left you speechless already?

[Oh no. Oh no no no. He's going to have to ditch the irony; it's incompatible with the friendly-bordering-on-flirtatious tone he can't get out of. He can almost make a face at the way that line just came out, though it's not quite cooperating. But House is House, of course, and can probably tell he's trying to.

Okay. This doesn't have to be weird. He can definitely find a relatively normal conversation that the curse will allow. Probably. He clears his throat slightly, as a means of rebooting the conversation.]

So. How's all this been going for you?

Because you haven't. In case you hadn't noticed, opportunity wants a date all over the place. [Ahem he'll try that again.] The dating pool is open. You're the type that everybody likes. So, how many pairs of panties have been thrown your way?

[That's something he can be proud of saying because it is true. Right. Moving on from that part of the discussion.]

Two out of...a few isn't bad.

When I get a vampire date, we'll further this discussion. Then you'll see.

[Snoop, snoop, snoop.]

I didn't think the were. Well balanced diet?

Spoken like a true professional.

[To boldly go where no stomach has gone before. Or something. There must be a curse now. Aren't her underthings still in his freezer? Under the bits of dinosaur? Oh damn, and that probably is freezer burned.]

I called a great percentage of people out on lacking substance. That's nice?

[Why even mince words. House doesn't full out grin but he's not against the idea right now.]

I have.

I really don't think I'll want to see.

[She reaches down to drag the bags underneath her chair, less because she actually cares if he looks inside and more to make some kind of a point, even if it's not one he'd care about.]

I'm representing at least three of the food groups, so I like to think yes. [Pause. She's supposed to ask something, isn't she?] Would you really go on a date with a vampire or is that just talk?

Is that a request to see them again?

I'm not sure I'd go that far. Still, let's see... hmm... carry the one... [He glances off to a side as he waves a finger around, air-penciling an equation. After a moment, he waves it off dismissively, as if scattering the imaginary numbers and operators.[ Well, really, it's not important.

[And Wilson scores one for saying things without hitting on his best friend.]

Two isn't bad. After all, most people don't appreciate you the way I do.

[And the score shifts again. Well played, curse. He wrenches his eyes closed, but he can only manage the slightest of sighs. Not quite the exasperated mess he feels inside.]

It's been a while. What title do I get after professional?

[Deep down inside Angela, her stomach does do flips and twists, but it feels more like butterflies than the usual disgust she finds herself experiencing by being around House. And yes, Angela is sure her thongs are still in House's possession, but asking that is prevented by this being some ridiculous first date interaction. She still wants them back, by the way.]

Compared to you usually calling all of us idiots, morons, and jackasses? Definitely.

Actually, I meant the massage. [Once seated, the appropriate role starts being played. Chase offers a cocky grin more often directed at Cameron when he's beaten her to a 'well done'.] Luckily, I'd count myself as proficient at both.

If I was looking to date you, it would be.

So who am I talking to?

That's a loaded question.

[Okay, broad grinning now.]

And you like that.

[She smiles and stands up]

I like that you're honest about it.

Concert soloist. Duh.

[Doesn't she know you can just pay to have the problem solved? There's a market for that anywhere. No guilt. No strings.

Or save your money and--

This is not right. Has he endured a head injury. House lightly touches his temple, the back of his head. No bruising, no tender parts.]

Only the one's that have approached me so far. Not everyone is worth talking to. Not by a long shot.

For reference. You're not my type. [Maybe. Waaaaaaaaaaait. Those aren't boobs. These thoughts why why why.]

Dr. Greg House. Nice introduction.

You need an audience for a concert.

[Yeah, Angela knows but she has never paid for somebody to solve her problem, even for that entire year, and she has no intention on starting now. Hopefully, these five minutes will be up before she gets cursed enough to proposition House.]

Yet you're still talking to me.

But of course, Casanova. [That's not surprising in the slightest. Ladies are all over that dough face, caring eyes. Ridiculous, deceiving. None of them know him like House knows him.]

I'm an acquired taste from the get go. You-[pointing included] have a bitter after taste that no one expects.

What would you prefer? 'You have great eyes?'

That may already be saying too much. [Usually, House is infused with the impulse to knock down any amount of unwarranted self-assurance like a house of cards.] Now you're going to tell me how this came to pass, leaving out the less interesting details.

[Why can't that be happening right now? Because that would be exactly what he's game for.]

Names work.

Edward Dalton.

Would you consider yourself a cat person or dog person? And why?

We have a hospital. You should get that checked.

[Suspicious that her corn puffs are interesting? There are dangers of high fructose corn syrup. Oh and noting whether or not someone is buying for the opposite sex. Ha-cha.]

They require at least this much [the space between his hands is about a foot and a half] personality for starters.

Edward. Not Eddie. You're used to being patronized.

[Observation. Oh, questioning, huh.]

Dog because if I want a being that is going to be dependent on me, it should be trainable as well as intelligent.

That's a big assumption to make based off a name. We don't know each other. But call me Ed, if you want.

Cats are less dependent, aren't they? You wouldn't prefer that?

Is there a medical term I should go in expecting to hear?

[Admittedly it's difficult to determine who and what the contents of her grocery bags are for when she lives with a horse like Ginny Weasley. The contents of the bag are meat, vegetables, tortilla shells. And maybe a couple candy bars.]

Half of that would be dedicated to turning you into lunch.

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114 Diagnosis

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