053. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Milkshakes. Yum. Not so good though without greasy fries to dip. Beggars can't be choosers though I really hate to have to walk all the way to the nearest B rank establishment do get what I want. Whatever happened to one stop eating? I think it went the same place as Eden.

Speaking of which. Cops? You don't do much right? Here. Call an Amber Alert.

MISSING ANGRY IRISH MIDGET
Name: Eden Mac Cionaoith
Height: short
Weight: easy enough to toss and carry
Answers to: "Lucky", "Hey You", "Speak Slowly So I Can Understand You"
Last seen: In the company of a suspicious man of Middle Eastern descent. He's got a kind of perversion as you can see.
 

In the meantime... What do any of you do for a living? Enough of you sit around and worry about people. Who likes puzzles? And when I say puzzles I'm not talking about put these things together and make Scooby Doo. I mean, let's solve ourselves a mystery. Jinkies!

Comments

voice;

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Mysteries but the good old fashioned way, through science and deduction.

[adamantined]

Have you always been such a jerk?

Private

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

What's my policy on magic, Lyra?

voice;

[abinconvenienti.livejournal.com]

Ah, finding your friend.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Yes.

There are seventeen questions left.

[dresden4hire.livejournal.com]

Says the man going bald in the back.

Very clever, doctor. But as for your other question, I love puzzles. Big, puzzling mysteries practically give me goosebumps.

[ooc: Strike is not hackable.]

Private

[lyra-of-dust.livejournal.com]

You don't like it?

Except... It's actually elementary particles.

Fine. I hope she shows up soon then.

[adamantined]

I don't think this works that way.

Why?

voice;

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Nah. Not exclusively. That'd be a bonus.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Stop talking if you don't have anything useful to say. Seriously.

[intellectspirit.livejournal.com]

I'm the next step up from a wizard's computer.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I said interest not sexually attracted.

Methods of puzzle solving?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

They make ipods that look like skulls? Way to go Apple.

[intellectspirit.livejournal.com]

Nice one. I bet you break hearts right and left with that patter.

[dresden4hire.livejournal.com]

How disappointed that you went there. I keep hearing you're brilliant and witty and not predictable and unoriginal.

Usually it's just process of elimination based on various means of deduction and having a wider knowledge of the subject than most people.

voice;

[abinconvenienti.livejournal.com]

Then what is the other mystery?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Edit my story? I didn't even give rights. You people are pirates.

Flying is an upgrade if I ever heard of one.

Ditto.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

That's just how I roll. I'm sure you do the same. Roll I mean.

[adamantined]

Stop being a grouch if you don't actually have a reason to be grouchy.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Says the man who uses an insanity plea for tax evasion. Zing. If you're looking for entertainment there's a doctor who's telling kids about STIs out on the network. Looks like a barrel full of laughs.

Wider range of "wizard knowledge" am I right?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Just because I don't have the same levels of estrogen and bleed for a week every month doesn't mean I have a reason to be cheerful.

[dresden4hire.livejournal.com]

Hey, I pay taxes. If they're too afraid to audit me, that's on them.

I'd say supernatural knowledge in general.

voice;

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

What isn't?

Do you know what Fibromyalgia is?

[adamantined]

No, it means you have a reason to be lonely up on that pedestal you put yourself on, because you're too busy being rude to people to make any kind of lasting friendships.

[intellectspirit.livejournal.com]

I also float without expensive computer effects or hallucinogens.