091. Diagnosis

[vicodincrutch]

Again? Don't you people have something better to do? Check your myspace? Talk to your mother? That cat at your feet, one of four, that's got to be something. There is nothing at all that requires your attention?

Liars. All of you.

Comments

[23husbands.livejournal.com]

Not a thing. Looks like you're just going to have to entertain me.

[lagerfeldbuilt.livejournal.com]

Ah, the man who wears his bitterness not as a staple of black but as a garish statement piece upon the wrist whose center is spotted with too heady a perfume.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

And me without my flaming bowling pins to juggle.

Don't you need to go and be possessed by Patrick Swayze?

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Oh, I didn't get the memo that overly extended metaphors were back. Tre chic.

[23husbands.livejournal.com]

Hey, good guess there. You've got it a little confused though. That's okay though, honey, you gave it your best try.

[lagerfeldbuilt.livejournal.com]

His caustic manner demands credit, few have an appreciation for the classic elegance of a properly tailored riposte. However his execution bears traces of working class mediocrity. I hate mediocrity.

But there is potential here; he has my pity.

Perhaps if he should attain a uniform color to his beard. Hm.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Whoever you are, Cher must be ticked you raided her closet.

1/2

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Talking to yourself is never en vogue, even in a penguin suit while wearing sunglasses.

[wearstiaras.livejournal.com]

Oh, dude. I know this one. It's not lupus, right? I always wanted to say that.

1/3

[yourbestfriends.livejournal.com]

You should join MySpace!

[yourbestfriends.livejournal.com]

And make friends with that pretty~ girl.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I have never, ever heard that before. That's so profound and original.

[yourbestfriends.livejournal.com]

We swear she's eighteen~!

[4thwallcansukmy.livejournal.com]

Well I just cleared my Myspace inbox, called my mommy a while ago, and I don't usually keep cats. Too easy to kick around.

Why you wanna do somethin'? Go to the arcade, grab some chillidogs, swim in nuclear waste? I'm down for anything.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Then it must be true.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I'm in the process of deterring idiots. This could take a while.

[mamawallbreaker.livejournal.com]

You're just as cranky as the last time.

[wearstiaras.livejournal.com]

Oh, man, that's so cool. Do it again.

[lagerfeldbuilt.livejournal.com]

The plebeian rogue notices me. I will grant him the small mercy of saying nothing for the dream of acquainting one such as myself is far sweeter when unmet in reality. He will have rich dreams to come and from those perhaps he'll find his muse to rise above monotony.

[yourbestfriends.livejournal.com]

You should ask her out for beer!

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Jinkies. Now I know where all of the cocaine in the City went. Mystery solved.

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

I didn't do anything.

[4thwallcansukmy.livejournal.com]

Have you tried grenades? You're just a pin pull and a throw away from freedom!

[vicodincrutch.livejournal.com]

Are we talking about the same hypothetical girl?